Worth made Worthy

I have learned so much just within almost these two months of being engaged. I have realized that true love must be fought for, because there is an Enemy who wants to destroy anything that inspires others of the Father. I have struggled recently with my self worth, on a daily basis. But how in the world? You might say, because of he beautiful life I have, and indeed I do. Oh I do. But that doesn't mean I don't go through almost attacks on my spirit of doubt and insecurities. No, I'm going to be brave and say there attacks. I don't know about you, but I don't believe I have ever thought I deserved a man to go to a tree and be beaten, mocked, and tortured for my restoration. In fact, I never will. In fact, I would much more deserve to take those bearings. But then I remember, again, that this unfathomable, crazy, healing Love, isn't about anything I've done. It's about Grace. This magical irony that I can live beautifully & freely, because Someone took my ugliness for me. David Tyler.. Gosh if there are words. This man is a warrior. This unconditional love is literally pouring out of his eyes each time I'm in his presence. He has laid his desires down to take up mine, he proposed his life to be my helper. The butterflies, silly emotions, warm feelings inside of me I can't quite describe, have yet to leave me. But I want to be very clear that our emotions is not our foundation. Truth be told, I feel unworthy nearly every day to be marrying this man. I feel as though I have messed up too much, or fallen short of the "future wife expectations." I am not pretty enough, skinny enough, quiet enough, ect. But once again.. I'm falling back into this familiar groove. The unworthy of His/his love mindset.But grace doesn't love someone because they're worthy. Jesus doesn't love me because I deserve him, he simply loves me for existing. David Tyler doesn't cherish & love me because I have earned his love - he simply loves me because I am Elizabeth Harris. My point is, I wanted to share this in hopes that you'll remember Grace is waiting to me embraced by you. It's knocking at your door so ready to be welcomed into your life and free you from Satan and the world's traps. I choose Grace. I choose Grace to make me worthy, instead of trying to be worthy of Grace. I choose God to make me beautiful, instead of trying to be beautiful enough for him. I choose to be David's wife freely, instead of trying to perfect myself enough to be his wife. We don't become worthy to be loved - love makes us worthy. This sweet life is enchanting & dangerous. It's magical, and it's risky. It's pretty, and it's ugly. But it's worth it.